I Need a Life!

I miss people! Okay, now granted that sentence sounds odd as I work at a place where I am surrounded by tons of people all day long, but that doesn't count! Sure, I work with lots of people, and sure, I see my sister at least once most days, and I stop by my parents a couple times a week, but that's not what I miss.



I miss spending time with a good friend in a non work environment. My social life, outside of family members has been lacking somewhat. Heather, Kyle and I went for drinks last week, and that was pretty fun. That is once in 2 months though. Heather and Kyle are both people that I actually want to hang out with outside of work, however they live an hour and a half away from where I live, and our shift end times are 2 hours different. Makes it hard to hang out outside of work too often, which blows pretty hard! On the bright side though, my sister has been talking a fair amount about wanting to move to the town Heather and Kyle live in, so that wouldn't break my heart.



I guess, living with Adrienne I got spoiled. For a while, her and I where working similar shifts, so we'd hang out every night. We'd go for a drink, or we'd just chill out at home and chat.

Marjor Life Change

As of two days ago, Kyle and I are no longer a couple.



We had a really long talk the other night, and decided mutually that we're probably better off as friends. At some point, I think we already became that, but neither of us really noticed. Neither of us was unhappy, but we weren't ecstatically happy either. We ran out of small talk. If it wasn't a major issue, we had very little to say to one another. We also have very different interests. In fact, about the only common interest we have is movies and reading. I want a “typical” life. I want to get married and have a couple kids and get up every morning to go to a job. Kyle loathes the concept. He doesn't want kids, he doesn't want a “normal” job, he wants to go and try strange things in strange place. He wants to live in a huge city, I want to live in a small town. He wants to live in Manitoba, I can't leave B.C.



I know we made the right choice, but it still makes me sad sometimes. I'm really glad that it was mutual though, and that there is no animosity on either of our parts. He is still planning to come out and visit me, and we've talked since breaking up and it isn't awkward at all.



I don't view the past 2 years as a waste, or our relationship as a failure, I simply view it as having changed. We have both changed as people the past few months. Neither of us is the person the other fell in love with, and neither of us is the person the other lived with. The people we where when we met where in love and everything was great. The people we became when we lived together, had resentments and fought all the time. The people we are now, have new lives and are better suited as friends.

180

Well, today was an odd day to say the least. It started out just fine, work was good I was only one customer shy of my daily goal.



I knew things where about to do a 180 when I stopped quickly by my parents, and my dad says to me “You're going to need a hug” and gives me a hug. As much as I love hugs, no conversation that starts that way is going anyplace good! Turns out, that we've been evicted again. Pretty sweet huh? Considering the fact that I can hardly afford food only paying $200 a month for rent and utilities, this should be interesting. I get the impression from my sister, that we are moving even if we are once again unevicted. She's had enough of this crap.



Next I talked to Kyle on the telephone. I made a suggestion, and he agreed that it was a good idea. So, we are postponing the wedding. Last time he moved out to BC things went very wrong, so we've agreed that maybe it is best to work on keeping things running smoothly next time he comes to BC without the added pressure of saving the money to get married etc. So much has changed since we got engaged, that it is best to make sure things will work before getting married, as opposed to getting married and then finding out if things will work.



Lastly, I inadvertently insulted someone who I actually like a lot! I was picking on her in regards to a certain subject, and as it turns out, it's a sensitive subject. She's putting on a brave face, and making the best of a less than perfect situation, and she is doing so well, that I didn't even realize it was a soft spot. Once I realized I had offended her, I was quick to apologize, and I truly do feel bad for it. She's a great girl, and I really like her, the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt her feelings or insult her.



It's pretty sad really, when work is your escape. You're time and place to be able to laugh and not worry about all the bad things going on in your life. That is what my work is right now. I can just laugh and joke around with my coworkers and for a few hours not stress out about all the crap in my life that seems to be falling down around my feet. Some days I just don't feel strong enough to pick up all the pieces. I will though, I always do.

Points to Ponder

I'm in a little bit of shock today. I was talking to Kyle today, when he announced, rather flippantly, that he has decided he is never having children. Apparently, observing his friends children has brought him to the conclusion that kids are noisy, annoying and expensive.



I'm sure that the behavior has nothing to do with the source of the offspring. The one chick is on kid 3, with guy 3, before age 15 and has a habit of ditching the kids with whoever she can whenever she can. The other couple with kids, is married, he is bisexual, they are both permitted to fool around with other people as long as there is no vaginal intercourse, and they have on at least one occasion, left their kid with grandma and grandpa in order to attend an orgy.



Now me, I want children. In fact, it is number 56 on my list of things about me. Until Kyle told me he never wants them, and I was forced to think about how I felt about that fact, I never realized how important it is to me to have kids. However, I can't coerce, force, trick, or guilt Kyle into having kids. He would just wind up resenting me for it in the end.



So, I guess him and I have to discuss the matter, and both of us have some thinking to do. He has to consider how serious he is about never wanting kids, and I have to consider how important it is to me to have them.



The part that sucks the most, is that we can't even talk about it for a while, because our schedules just don't match up correctly. So, in the mean time, I will think, panic, stress, freak out and think some more. Good fun.

Never Mind

We're not moving after all. Turns out the landlord was just pissy about a high hydro bill. Well it wouldn't be so high if they would fix our fucking furnace so we didn't have to use electric heat. But anyways, he calmed down and said if we started paying half the hydro we could stay. Since rent is on 300 total, we're staying.

On The Move

Our landlords have decided that it's too much work for them to run this place as well as their other property. So, they want to hire a farm hand. The farm hand, would get to live where we live now. That means we have to find a new home.



This sucks!



The one bright side to all this, is that we're going to move closer to both my sisters work and mine. The money we save on gas each month, will make up for the extra we have to pay in rent.

Weekend (Sorta)

I had an awesome “weekend”. I don’t care what days of the week I have off, it’s my weekend. I went and stayed a couple nights at my sisters for her birthday, and got not nearly enough sleep. The first night I was there, I wound up staying up until after 1am, then woke up around 7:30 and was up for the day. Last night I stayed up until after midnight playing video games with my nephew and had to get up to come to work at 6:30. I feel just a wee bit tired today. I got “enough” sleep, but not as much as I usually do.



Yesterday, Lori and I pretty much just chilled. We hung around the house, watched TV, surfed the net and chatted. After Scott got home from school, the three of us went out for dinner. It was really good food. Would have been even better if Scott had have paid attention to prices and not ordered a $28 entrée. His came to more than Lori and mine did combined! Shesh, teenagers! Hehe We all made ourselves a bit ill after eating a entire 8” Ice Cream Cake from DQ.



Scott and I get along pretty good, and both like video games and trying to kick each others ass at snowboarding and surfing etc. This is a very good thing since at the end of the month I’ll be staying with him for a few days while Lori goes out of town for Christmas shopping.



I got some pretty freakin’ awesome news today when I got to work. Made having to work while being ass tired all worth while. Work did a 50/50 draw to raise money for the first ever set of conjoined twins born in British Columbia. I won! I actually bloody won! I never win anything, I’m so stoked. I got $300!



I have to say, that between spending time with some of my family on my days off, and getting a $300 return on my $5 investment…. I had a pretty damn good weekend.



The only bad news I have today, is that I feel like shit. Not “didn’t get enough sleep” bad, but sick bad. My throat is killing me, I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and my throat is all swollen, my uvula is actually sitting on the back of my tongue. It kills every time I swallow. However, on the bright side, $300 will buy me lots of lozenges!