I Need a Life!

I miss people! Okay, now granted that sentence sounds odd as I work at a place where I am surrounded by tons of people all day long, but that doesn't count! Sure, I work with lots of people, and sure, I see my sister at least once most days, and I stop by my parents a couple times a week, but that's not what I miss.



I miss spending time with a good friend in a non work environment. My social life, outside of family members has been lacking somewhat. Heather, Kyle and I went for drinks last week, and that was pretty fun. That is once in 2 months though. Heather and Kyle are both people that I actually want to hang out with outside of work, however they live an hour and a half away from where I live, and our shift end times are 2 hours different. Makes it hard to hang out outside of work too often, which blows pretty hard! On the bright side though, my sister has been talking a fair amount about wanting to move to the town Heather and Kyle live in, so that wouldn't break my heart.



I guess, living with Adrienne I got spoiled. For a while, her and I where working similar shifts, so we'd hang out every night. We'd go for a drink, or we'd just chill out at home and chat.

Marjor Life Change

As of two days ago, Kyle and I are no longer a couple.



We had a really long talk the other night, and decided mutually that we're probably better off as friends. At some point, I think we already became that, but neither of us really noticed. Neither of us was unhappy, but we weren't ecstatically happy either. We ran out of small talk. If it wasn't a major issue, we had very little to say to one another. We also have very different interests. In fact, about the only common interest we have is movies and reading. I want a “typical” life. I want to get married and have a couple kids and get up every morning to go to a job. Kyle loathes the concept. He doesn't want kids, he doesn't want a “normal” job, he wants to go and try strange things in strange place. He wants to live in a huge city, I want to live in a small town. He wants to live in Manitoba, I can't leave B.C.



I know we made the right choice, but it still makes me sad sometimes. I'm really glad that it was mutual though, and that there is no animosity on either of our parts. He is still planning to come out and visit me, and we've talked since breaking up and it isn't awkward at all.



I don't view the past 2 years as a waste, or our relationship as a failure, I simply view it as having changed. We have both changed as people the past few months. Neither of us is the person the other fell in love with, and neither of us is the person the other lived with. The people we where when we met where in love and everything was great. The people we became when we lived together, had resentments and fought all the time. The people we are now, have new lives and are better suited as friends.

180

Well, today was an odd day to say the least. It started out just fine, work was good I was only one customer shy of my daily goal.



I knew things where about to do a 180 when I stopped quickly by my parents, and my dad says to me “You're going to need a hug” and gives me a hug. As much as I love hugs, no conversation that starts that way is going anyplace good! Turns out, that we've been evicted again. Pretty sweet huh? Considering the fact that I can hardly afford food only paying $200 a month for rent and utilities, this should be interesting. I get the impression from my sister, that we are moving even if we are once again unevicted. She's had enough of this crap.



Next I talked to Kyle on the telephone. I made a suggestion, and he agreed that it was a good idea. So, we are postponing the wedding. Last time he moved out to BC things went very wrong, so we've agreed that maybe it is best to work on keeping things running smoothly next time he comes to BC without the added pressure of saving the money to get married etc. So much has changed since we got engaged, that it is best to make sure things will work before getting married, as opposed to getting married and then finding out if things will work.



Lastly, I inadvertently insulted someone who I actually like a lot! I was picking on her in regards to a certain subject, and as it turns out, it's a sensitive subject. She's putting on a brave face, and making the best of a less than perfect situation, and she is doing so well, that I didn't even realize it was a soft spot. Once I realized I had offended her, I was quick to apologize, and I truly do feel bad for it. She's a great girl, and I really like her, the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt her feelings or insult her.



It's pretty sad really, when work is your escape. You're time and place to be able to laugh and not worry about all the bad things going on in your life. That is what my work is right now. I can just laugh and joke around with my coworkers and for a few hours not stress out about all the crap in my life that seems to be falling down around my feet. Some days I just don't feel strong enough to pick up all the pieces. I will though, I always do.