Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Time Well Spent

Well, Brandy got here last week right on schedule. Her and I have hung out a few times. I feel sort of bad for her right now though. She is living at the hotel until she can get into her apartment on the first. She has pretty much nothing to do from the time she gets off work until she goes to bed. I would gladly hang out with her more, but I’ve been working evenings. Between that and Adrienne being busy with Chris most evenings, Brandy is going bored out of her mind. Saturday, she called me at work at 10pm and asked me to come visit her after work. We wound up chatting until a little after 3am. We seem to get along really well, which is cool especially with Adrienne leaving in a few months. I figure I’ll see if she wants to hang out the next couple days because I have a few morning shifts and a day off. I have to make her like me quick before she gets her apartment and doesn’t need anyone to occupy her free time anymore (just kidding)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Unhappy Thoughts

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always said I wanted to wait until I was older to have kids. I figured that late twenties or early thirties was a good time. At that age, I would get to live life without kids both before I have them and after they move out. At the same time I wouldn’t be too young and immature to be raising a child, nor would I be too old to do things with a kid.

A coworker and I where discussing this the other day, and she says to me… “But your parents are old, don’t you worry that if you wait to have kids they won’t be alive to see it” I tried to laugh the comment off by saying “My other sisters have given them grandkids, I’m not depriving them” to that my coworker says “Yeah, but it sounds like you’re close with your parents, don’t you want your kids to have a chance to get to know them and have a relationship with them?”

Now why the heck did she have to go and say something like that?

Believe it or not, that perspective on things hadn’t really occurred to me. If I ever happened to have thoughts of my parents not being around to see me have kids, I always passed it off by reminding myself that they already have 3 grandkids, so it’s not like I would be depriving them of that privilege.

My parents are great parents and great grandparents, and I can only hope that my children get a chance to find that out for themselves, not just through stories passed down.

I don’t deal well with thoughts of my parents mortality. Any time I think about it, I in all honesty come very close to having an anxiety attack. It makes me wish I was closer to home.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Growing Up

I was talking to my nephew Scott online tonight. I have a picture of me holding him in the hospital when he was just days old. I was 9, just a few months shy of 10, when he was born. Logically, I am aware that the math put his at 15 years old. However, the auntie in me, just can’t believe that my nephew is 15 freakin years old. The kid is over 6 feet tall! When the hell did that happen? Ok ok, so I’ve been gone for 3 years, but geez.

It’s the same thing with my other two nephews, I haven’t seen them in a couple of years now, and when I got the pictures from Christmas I couldn’t believe how big they have gotten.

It makes me homesick. Being so far away from my entire family, I’m missing so much.